Death

So someone asked me the other day if I ever encounter death of my patients. The last weekend that I had worked I experienced it each night.
Friday night. Mr Smith, age 76, He saw his doctor earlier that day and then worked out at the gym as he does three times a week. His wife heard him "snoring" in bed and went to check on him. She found him hardly breathing and called 911. The paramedics did CPR and shocked his heart. They got his heart beating again. I took care of him for a very long 4 hours in the ED. His heart continued to beat on his own. We breathed for him with a breathing tube and I gave him medication to sustain his blood pressure. His wife was devastated and kept saying that she can't lose him. They had been married for 58 years. In my mind I was torn as to if he would pull through or not. Since he had gone the 4 hours with his heart working on its own, I thought maybe he had a chance. I finally was able to take him to the ICU and about 30 minutes later we heard "code blue ICU." My heart sank and I knew that it was my patient. The ER doc went up and pronounced his death.
Saturday night. Mr. Jones, age 94 comes into the ER after fainting at home. He was talking to the paramedics on the way in and then his heart stopped. I personally did CPR on his chest. After a round of medications, his heart started to beat on its own. Again, I took care of him. We breathed for him with a breathing tube but his heart continued to beat and he maintained a good blood pressure without medication. I updated the family and let them know that it didn't look good for Mr. Jones. I later took him to the ICU. The next day I called the ICU, expecting them to tell me that he hadn't made it. Surprisingly they told me that they had removed the breathing tube and that he was sitting up in bed doing well. Crazy! We had saved a 94 year old's life after performing CPR. That just doesn't happen all that often. All I could do was smile:)
The thing is...I truly believe that God only calls his children home when it is their time and not a minute sooner! We do all that we can to save every patient that comes through the door, but it isn't really up to us if they make it or not.
Believing this is how I cope with loss in the ED. Now with that said, it's not always easy. When it is a child or younger person it is difficult. I just have to remind myself that God needs them more than we do.