What brings you to the ER tonight?

Okay, so there are great things about being an ER nurse and I really do enjoy helping those that are in need of medical care...but then there are the 80% of those that I care for that don't need to be in the ER...here are just a few examples!

*I need my toe nails trimmed
*I need the wax cleaned out of my ears
*I have had abdominal pain for the last 3 months
*I have had abdominal pain for the last 5 years
*This mole that I have is changing colors
*I think I may have testicular cancer (this is a female pt)
*"I'm bleeding to death, it's pumping blood"...I unwrapped the dressing she had applied and she had nicked herself shaving her legs...it had already stopped bleeding
*"I have a headache, my husband has placed metal plates in my head...the FBI is tracking this and they are on their way here with pictures."
*I'm pregnant and I feel nauseated
*I need you to check and see if I am pregnant
*My body is burning
*I have had some small bumps on my arms for one month (this pt came in at 3am)
*I have a bad tooth and I don't have money to pay the dentist to fix it
*I have vaginal bleeding (me: when was your last menstrual period, her: I'm on it now)
*I was already seen yesterday but I didn't fill my prescriptions and now I feel worse
*me: sir please have a seat I'll be with you in a moment
him: well I just can't sit down
me: what do you do at home
him: I think I'll go to another hospital cause I just can't sit
(he was there for leg pain...I can only imagine that he stands 24/7)
*I think I'm getting shorter
*I'm having trouble breathing (when we call her name, we find her outside smoking)
*I have this big abscess and my friend that just got out of prison lanced it for me (he was bleeding all over the place)
*My baby has been fussy today (me: well, they do that sometimes)

There are just so many I can't even begin to write them all down. If you can think it...someone has been to the ER for it!

Pink Cowboy Hat

Okay, so a few weekends ago the ambulance brought in the little old lady. I'll never forget her or the pink cowboy hat that she was wearing. It didn't take long for us to figure out that she was a little short upstairs. I can't actually remember her main complaint, maybe abdominal pain of some sort. After only about 30 minutes of waiting for the doctor she called me over to tell me that she had waited too long. She rambled some other crazy things and I explained that she just had to wait. Another ten minutes and she called me over to tell me that she was leaving and that we had better "disinfect" this room due to the contents that were in a paper cup on the counter. She goes out to the lobby and a few minutes later the ambulance company calls us to tell us that a patient in the lobby called 911. Our charge nurse went out and kindly told her that she could not call 911 from OUR lobby to have the ambulance come and get her. About 30 minutes later I walked outside to get warm and this is what I saw....an ambulance by our front door with the lights on and the same lady sitting inside on the stretcher. This is what had happened. She walked outside and borrowed a cell phone...she then dialed 911, told them she was having chest pain and was outside of our ER entrance. Well, now the ambulance has to come and because she is having chest pain, they have to come with lights and sirens. I guess the lady whom she borrowed the cell phone from (and a bunch of others in the lobby) were very concerned about Ms. Cowboy Hat and was pretty upset at us for not taking care of her. So....

#1 Many people think that we are heartless, careless people!

#2 They will never understand that we really tried to care for her but she's just plain crazy!

#3 Ms Cowboy Hat got another ambulance ride, to another ER (I guess she had ER hopped all day with nice ambulance rides in between) just as she wanted.

#4 There was nothing we could do about it!

#5 Any guess to how much tax payers money she wasted on just this one day??

As the ambulance drove away I waved to her. She sat up on the stretcher, smiled and waved back. A few minutes later and truck pulls up and the man is looking for this lady. I explained to him what had happened...he sighed and headed for the next hospital. I told him to hurry. I doubted that she would be there long :)

Feeling queasy

So I had only been working as a tech in the ER for a few months when this happened. At first even watching the doc suture would make me a little queasy....so I knew this incident would be tough. We got the call from the medics that they were bringing in a girl who for her 14th bday was teaching her cousin how to jump on the train that goes through our small town (the train goes pretty slow). Well, she fell and the train cut off her leg. They brought the girl in and then one of the EMT's brought in her leg and he handed it to me. I was sick, I really felt like throwing up but didn't. We took her leg over to the sink and started to clean it up. It was a ragged tear and the leg had dirt, sticks, etc. in it. We got it cleaned the best we could and we sent the girl and her leg to a trauma center. The cut was near the hip and with it being jagged they were unable to attach her leg. I saw her a few more times in the ER over the next few years and she was doing well. She was also not a candidate for a prosthesis so she will use crutches for the rest of her life. I was proud of myself that night for being able to do my job. Every night at work I would get better and the nausea feeling would lighten. Now, nothing upsets my stomach!

Missing Mrs. S

So on Friday night the ambulance brought in Mrs. S that had fallen, she also had Alzheimer's Disease. She kept telling me that her husband was on his way in. I kept looking but couldn't find him. He eventually showed up and said that he had told the ambulance to take her to a different hospital (one closer to their house) and so he had been waiting for her there. He was pretty upset with the ambulance company. Mrs. S ended up being just fine and so I sent her home with her husband. Last night this same lady came in by ambulance again around 3:00 am. (I was at lunch and so I didn't see her arrive). Her husband called on the phone and I immediately recognized his voice. This is what had happened... Mrs S called 911 and met the ambulance out in the driveway. Her complaint that her feet were numb. She told the medics that her husband had a busy day and not to wake him (in her mind she was doing the right thing). So they brought her in. Meanwhile MR. S wakes up and can't find his wife anywhere. He calls the police, they call the local hospitals and we tell them we have her. Mr. S is just frantic, worried sick not knowing where his wife is. He is on the phone just crying to me telling me how worried he had been. He comes down to get her. He is still crying and so upset. This makes Mrs. S upset and very sad. She says just admit me to the asylum because my head is just not right, he of course would not even think of something like that. It was a very sad situation. I recommended putting an alarm on the doors so that she can't get out without the alarm going off. I sent Mr and Mrs S home again and told them as much as I liked them I didn't want to see them again. Mrs. S kissed my cheek as I belted her in the car. I learned two things: One, unconditional love. Mr S is amazing to take care of his wife and love her so much even though her mind is not very clear. Second, I am thankful for my ability to think, act and respond appropriately.
p.s. Mr S is now even more upset with the ambulance. They took his wife without even waking to tell him...honest mistake (I'm sure they did what they thought was best) but for sure a learning experience.

What do you mean I can't smoke in here...

I took care of a 24 year old male that decided to take a bunch of vicodin, soma, and xanax along with marijuana for his sciatic pain. Well his mom found him drowsy and pretty much unconscious and so the wambulance (as called by the ER nurses) brought him to me. He was not very nice, hit his brother, twisted my arm behind my back….you get the picture. I took him up to the ICU and he asked for a sleeping pill. Now remind you that he took enough meds to sleep for a week and so I kind of laughed and explained that he wouldn’t be getting a sleeping pill. Then he decided that he wanted to leave and was just being a pain. Happy for me that he was now in the ICU and I headed back to the ER. So like an hour later security comes running in the ER and says they have my patient from room 2. I was like, what?? Oh yes, my lovely patient had jumped out of the second story ICU window so that he could smoke!!!! And now he had a broken foot! We took some x-rays, applied a splint, I even gave him some pain meds and took him back up to the ICU! I’m guessing they locked the window…:o)
02/2008