Okay, so there are great things about being an ER nurse and I really do enjoy helping those that are in need of medical care...but then there are the 80% of those that I care for that don't need to be in the ER...here are just a few examples!
*I need my toe nails trimmed
*I need the wax cleaned out of my ears
*I have had abdominal pain for the last 3 months
*I have had abdominal pain for the last 5 years
*This mole that I have is changing colors
*I think I may have testicular cancer (this is a female pt)
*"I'm bleeding to death, it's pumping blood"...I unwrapped the dressing she had applied and she had nicked herself shaving her legs...it had already stopped bleeding
*"I have a headache, my husband has placed metal plates in my head...the FBI is tracking this and they are on their way here with pictures."
*I'm pregnant and I feel nauseated
*I need you to check and see if I am pregnant
*My body is burning
*I have had some small bumps on my arms for one month (this pt came in at 3am)
*I have a bad tooth and I don't have money to pay the dentist to fix it
*I have vaginal bleeding (me: when was your last menstrual period, her: I'm on it now)
*I was already seen yesterday but I didn't fill my prescriptions and now I feel worse
*me: sir please have a seat I'll be with you in a moment
him: well I just can't sit down
me: what do you do at home
him: I think I'll go to another hospital cause I just can't sit
(he was there for leg pain...I can only imagine that he stands 24/7)
*I think I'm getting shorter
*I'm having trouble breathing (when we call her name, we find her outside smoking)
*I have this big abscess and my friend that just got out of prison lanced it for me (he was bleeding all over the place)
*My baby has been fussy today (me: well, they do that sometimes)
There are just so many I can't even begin to write them all down. If you can think it...someone has been to the ER for it!
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6 comments:
I can't even imagine. I would be tempted to laugh in there face or get mad and tell them how stupid they are. You are a better woman than me.( and also have girls! :)
What kills me is that these are the people who are making those of us who have kids with a hole in their heads or appendicitis wait for HOURS to be seen. Grrrrr.
At least your job is never boring, right? (:
Man if I knew you guys did toe nails I would've come to visit sooner :). It does astound me how incredibly stupid people can be. I feel for your pain of the 80% of the crazies!
Man oh man! You recommend this field for me?
Ha ha ha!! I love these examples! This was a great laugh! I showed to some of my co-workers and they got a good laugh too!! Thanks for the stories!
This is CJ. I thought that was great, but you need to add my personal favorite 3am visit, "My hands hurt." Me: "What were you doing when they started hurting?" Him: "I've been playing Playstation for the last 19 hours."
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